Finding business Advice that Fits in a World of Business Influencers
This post was originally published on Align & Thrive, my Substack space where I share the behind-the-scenes of building a values-led business and life. It’s a more personal reflection—but one I believe speaks just as clearly to the Beyond the Lined Books community.
Whether you’re an author, creative entrepreneur, or solo founder, you’ve likely felt the pressure to follow someone else’s blueprint. This is about what happens when that advice doesn’t fit—and how to find business advice that fits you.
Because growth shouldn’t require contortion.
You know that feeling when you try on a new pair of jeans—just a little snug in the dressing room, but something tells you they might be just right? You wear them for an hour, maybe a day, and they soften. They start to move with you instead of against you. They hold you in the right places and give you room where you need it. They become yours.
Your business strategy should fit like your favorite pair of comfy jeans—snug, supportive, and made for you.
That is how trying on business advice should feel.
But lately? For me, it hasn’t.
The Season of Everyone Else’s “Best Practices”
- Send 20 connection requests a day.
- Book 10 discovery calls a week.
- Post daily.
- Engage 30 minutes a day on LinkedIn
- Attend five networking events per week.
These suggestions came from coaches, strategist friends, high-achieving peers. People I admire. People whose results spoke for themselves. And I listened, because I genuinely believed their guidance might work for me, too. I’ve always been a “good student.” I like following through, checking the boxes, doing the work. But this? This was too much.
Even one of those tactics might have been a stretch. Taken together, they became a full-body squeeze. I was trying to cram my business, and myself, into a framework that didn’t reflect my energy, my rhythm, or my instincts. I kept pushing, thinking maybe I just needed to build stamina. But what I really needed was space to breathe.
As an introvert and highly sensitive person, too much input doesn’t just exhaust me. It distorts everything. My thoughts become cloudy. My mood dips. And when I’m overwhelmed, even good strategies don’t land. Because at that point, it’s not strategy—it’s noise.
When Strategy Stops Serving
It happened slowly at first. I started saying yes to more calls, more events, more screen time. I filled my calendar with the “right” things; networking, outreach, visibility. And while I was technically doing more, I wasn’t connecting to any of it.
Creative time disappeared. Client work, even the limited projects I had, started to feel like a burden. I wasn’t building, I was performing. For whom, I wasn’t even sure.
And the consequences caught up with me. I was snappy, short-fused, distracted. I’d show up to meetings already drained. I’d try to write and feel blank. I knew this wasn’t sustainable. I didn’t know how to stop without feeling like I was quitting.
It reminded me of buying a pair of jeans that look incredible on someone else. You see how they carry them with ease, with style. And you want to feel that too. So you buy them, force them on, and hope for the best. But instead of confidence, you get muffin-top. The fit just isn’t right. You blame yourself, not the cut. You think, maybe if I just lost a little weight, or tried harder.
That’s what I was doing in my business: tailoring myself to someone else’s fit.
The Epiphany: Stretch Is Not the Same as Strain
Eventually, I hit a wall.
I was irritable on calls, resentful of the work I’d chosen. I felt invisible and overexposed all at once. I kept wondering why this path felt so heavy when I had chosen it so intentionally.
And then mid-grumble, I caught myself. I realized I wasn’t thriving. I wasn’t even aligning. I was trying to succeed while wearing someone else’s jeans, and it was making me miserable. I was barely surviving.
That moment cracked something open. I asked myself, “What if slower and quieter is still success?”
Isn’t that what Align & Thrive is all about?
Around the same time, a member of the Thrive Hive reached out. She’d had an epiphany. A breakthrough followed by a new plan of action that felt right, not just strategic. And something in me softened. This is the part of my work that brings me energy and joy: real connection, genuine insight, and supporting others on their path. Helping clients find and stay aligned with what they love. This is what lights me up every time.
That’s the part I never want to outsource or optimize away. That’s what this is for.
It reminded me of what this work was always meant to be. Not empire-building. Not hustle theater. But integrity. Fit. Freedom.
What I’m Learning to Ask
Now, before I take on a new recommendation, strategy, or habit, I pause and ask:
Does this honor the way I naturally create?
Is this stretch helping me grow—or pulling me too far from myself?
Can I try this and adapt it, rather than adopting it wholesale?
And if I followed this all the way to its outcome—would I still be okay with it, even if it’s slower, smaller, or quieter?
Because I’m no longer trying to “keep up.” I’m trying to stay connected while stretching myself just enough.
The Fit I’m Choosing Now
Here’s what I keep coming back to: I didn’t leave traditional paths just to rebuild another one that squeezes me dry. Align & Thrive is about intention. About purpose. About building a business that supports my life. Not the other way around.
I’m not here to scale like the coaches I admire. Their success is valid. It just doesn’t have to be mine. My success looks like meaningful work, intentional time, and a sustainable pace. It looks like enough. It feels like peace.
I’m building a business that stretches me without strangling me. That challenges me without consuming me. That feels like mine.
And maybe that’s the real test:
If I imagined myself five years from now, still doing this work, would the version of me who once dared to start be proud of what I’ve created?
If the answer is yes—that’s enough.
A Note to You, If You’re In That Overwhelm Too
You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to keep every strategy or meet every benchmark. You are allowed to slow down. You’re allowed to unsubscribe from advice that doesn’t fit. You’re allowed to trust your rhythms, your instincts, your energy.
Try things on. Move around in them. See what breathes. See what holds. If it supports you without suffocating you? That’s a good sign.
You might already be exactly where you’re meant to be.
And if you’re craving a space where slower, soul-aligned growth is the norm—not the exception—I’d love to welcome you into the Thrive Hive. It’s where we build with intention, in community, and at a pace that lets us exhale (and not just to get the jeans zipped up).
But before anything else, choose you. Choose what nourishes you. That’s where all sustainable success begins.
How are you doing today?
Is there a small shift you could make—just one—that would bring more alignment into your life right now?
Maybe it’s time to pause something. Maybe it’s time to restart something with intention. I’d love to hear what that looks like for you—because this journey is better when we share it.
Want to talk it through? My calendar is open.
Your Service Agreement Isn’t Just Legal Protection. It’s a Boundary.
Most solopreneurs think service agreements exist to protect them legally. But the real damage usually happens long before lawyers ever get involved. Scope creep, burnout, blurred expectations, and quiet resentment often begin with undefined boundaries. This essay explores why service agreements are really boundary documents — and how community can help business owners recognize when those boundaries start slipping.
Building a Business Alone: The 3 Types of People Who Stay Stuck
Most people building a business alone don’t realize where they’re stuck—they just feel it.
Here are the 3 patterns I see over and over again.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know — And That’s Not Your Fault
I wasted three months building the wrong thing—not because I wasn’t capable, but because I didn’t know what I was missing. Here’s what I’ve learned about the blind spots every solopreneur faces.